And as the two ninjas vanished into the synthwave sunset, the people of South Park stood in confused silence. Butters looked at the sky.

“The real mission,” Brian whispered, his voice like gravel being chewed by a wolf, “was to recruit you .”

The battle was insane. Ninja Brian threw exploding roses. Danny Sexbang performed the attack, which turned Mitch Conner’s speakers into glitter. And The New Kid delivered the final blow—a synchronized fart-solo that harmonized with Danny’s keytar.

“What the crap is that?” asked The New Kid (still called "Douchebag" by Cartman).

And so began

“My god,” said Stan (Toolshed). “He’s more dangerous than Cthulhu.”