(1.2k points) "The mer-row ate my ear and now it knows my name" is the hardest line I've read all year. New flair request: Eaten Ear Gang u/DepthCharger (890 points) The Code of the Tide is literally written in salt-water soluble ink for a reason, mate. You ignore it at your own peril. Vex is going to get you all turned into coral statues when the Drowned God wakes up. u/CrustyQuartermaster (450 points) Reply to u/DepthCharger: The Drowned God is a fairy tale told to hold us back. The real horror is what Vex is doing to that singer. She's not a pirate. She's a sadotech . Different beast. u/Barnacle_Betty (300 points) Hold on. Everyone ignoring that Scrimshaw has BARNACLES FOR TEETH? Is that a curse or a choice? u/Captain_Grime_Tooth (OP) (280 points) He lost his real teeth chewing through a ghost net. The barnacles grew back in the gaps. He's fine with it. Says it helps him grip rope. u/Fishwife_Fables (210 points) If you hear singing that sounds like your own mother crying, don't go to the lower deck. That's just the mer-row learning your regrets. Sweet dreams. u/Deckhand_Dying (95 points) I'm on a sweetfruit hauler. We have a cat named Pickles. I'm quitting this subreddit. You're all insane. u/Captain_Grime_Tooth (OP) (200 points) Tell Pickles I said pspspsps. And check your hold for rust. If you see orange flakes that smell like cloves, it's already too late. Moderator Note (u/The_Salt_King): Post approved. Rule 4 violation avoided (no explicit ear removal imagery). Marked NSFL for psychological dread. Remember, r/pirscy is for discussion of unethical nautical fantasy practices only. Do not attempt to bind a mer-row. Do not feed your body parts to sea creatures. Do not weld a welding mask to your skull.
— We are the barnacles on the hull of god. — r/pirscy
She laughed. Told me the Code was written by merchants who were scared of the deep. Vex is going to get you all turned
Yesterday, I tried to cut the mer-row loose. Didn't make it three steps before First Mate Scrimshaw (a man with barnacles for teeth) held me down. Vex took a heated pry-bar and levered off my left ear. Not as punishment. As a lesson . She's not a pirate