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Mother's Bad Date -

My mother is a retired kindergarten teacher. She has spent thirty years explaining to small children why you shouldn’t lick windows. Her patience is legendary. But I could see the twitch in her left eye.

“With snacks or weapons?”

We sat in silence for a moment. The clock ticked. mother's bad date

“The final straw,” she said, taking a massive bite of ice cream, “was when he told me I’d look younger if I smiled more. And then he corrected my pronunciation of ‘bruschetta.’” My mother is a retired kindergarten teacher

“Deal,” I said. “But only if you let me order the avocado.” ” she said

I winced. “What else?”

So last Saturday, she caught a boot.