Miss — Penelope Dork Diaries

“You can keep the name Penelope. I’ll share.”

“What would you write,” I asked, “if you knew no one would ever, ever read it except the next kid?”

Penelope’s eighth birthday was in three days. miss penelope dork diaries

“ I’m Penelope,” she said, smearing more cream on the cat’s ear. “You have to pick a new name. Or I will call you ‘Fart Cloud.’”

“I’m not writing in that old thing,” she said, kicking a stuffed bunny across the floor. “It’s boomer cringe.” “You can keep the name Penelope

The next morning, her parents actually showed up for the birthday breakfast. They gave her a tablet, a drone, and a gift certificate for a “curated pony experience.” Penelope smiled her fake smile. She put on a little pink dress. She became the perfect daughter.

Sprog is not a pet. Sprog is their seven-year-old daughter, Penelope (yes, same name—a coincidence that feels like a curse). But she is not a Penelope. She is a chaos demon in glittery sneakers. “You have to pick a new name

Little Penelope looked up. She had one blue eye and one green eye, and they both held the cold, calculating intelligence of a tiny CEO. “No, you’re not,” she said.